WIRG Speaking in role 2

(They exit.  Paul stands staring after them.)

I’m confused… what else is new, I’m always confused. I thought I had made a friend today, I mean I have friends but not friends like Chris and Angus but like a proper friend. Emily was crying while I was studying so I went over and talked to her. I found out that she had a teddy bear for when she’s upset. I talked to her about the posters Rose had been putting up around school… about Emily being pregnant. Emily was really nice… I mean really nice because she actually talked to me. I know all the girls like me and everything, they’re just shy which is why they avoid me but Emily actually talked to me. She was so upset about Chris telling rose about the baby. Chris really annoys me; sometimes I wish that Chris would just vanish… that he would be gone forever and that he’d never come back and that they would find the body a few weeks later, it would be broken, decayed, covered in maggots and rats eating away at his flesh. (Painfully long pause)Emily hugged me, she actually hugged me I told her that we could skip school tomorrow and then she hugged me. She even kissed me… on the forehead but she still kissed me and she held my hand until Alysa shouted out her. They talked a bit about how I was bad for her to be around and Chris would be annoyed at that. Emily then said that she was using me to get a day off; Alysa then proceeded to call me “Fatty”. Emily then left after saying “Thanks for taking my name off the list”, so Emily is grateful for what I have done for her but chooses those mean girls over me… I don’t think I will ever understand girls.

WIRG Speaking in role 1

(Paul enters.  He holds a tray of food.  He sits by himself.  He watches the kids at each table.)

Paul: Sitting by myself… again. It’s not that I have no one to sit with, I have loads of friends but I just want some alone time at the moment because the guys, Sean, Angus and Chris are talking about girls and I don’t have much experience in that area so I wouldn’t really contribute much to them. It sounds like Sean has got a date with Dayna and Chris has just made a gesture about her boob and ass size… she is nice… I guess. (Looks over to the girls table) I think Emily and Alysa just found out that Dayna is going out with Sean. Emily doesn’t seem impressed with this buy Alysa is encouraging it I think. I could go over and talk to them but it been unfair on the other guys because I know what they think of me, they’re always inviting me to parties where it’s just me and all the girls. I think they all kind of like me but they can’t decide which one of them should get me. (Looks over to the Annie) Annie is trying to find out which one of the girls Jessie likes and Jessie is saying how he wishes he was in a different social group. I could go over and sit with them but who wants to sit with a group where the people in that group don’t even want to be a part of the group. Jody is alright though; he’s a nice guy but not much to say about him, I don’t really know him. I have lots of friends but like I said I just don’t like hanging out with all them… especially Chris. I mean I like Chris… sometime it’s just he is always bullying me, in know he joking but it sometimes hurts me. I wish I could joker around with Chris like he does with me, I wish I could put his head in a toilet while I laugh or slam him into a locker as I walk away sniggering or even laugh at him while other hold him down and repeatedly punch him in the stomach, again and again… and again and AGAIN until he starts to throw up vomit and blood. Then I’ll see if he’s still laughing.

My UAL Audition

What UAL is looking for: We look for students who are ready to take on an extremely demanding profession, who are mature and self-confident, and who are willing to take criticism and turn it to their advantage while preserving a sense of humour (This shows that they want me to be confident in myself as well as willing to put this first before a social life. Their also looking for me not to take offence to any comments given to me about my performance as well being able to adapt to the criticism given). Above all, we look for people who can express themselves freely and with confidence (They want me to be confident and comfortable in who I am and what I can do).
We're looking for potential student actors who are committed, sensitive, imaginative, curious and resilient, with a passion for acting and a serious approach to the art of acting in the classical tradition (They want me to be able to adapt with creativity in what I’m asked to do as well as show commitment towards it). We're looking for people who are not afraid to take creative risks, who respond to stimuli and who are excited by the idea of being in an ensemble, working generously and openly with others (They would like me to be able to be accepting of what I am given and respect others judgement as well as acknowledging my own).

UAL School Audition: One speech should be in verse and from a play by Shakespeare or one of his contemporaries.

Name of play: Love Labour’s lost
Plot: A King and his lords form an austere academy, swearing to have no contact with women for three years. But when the Princess of neighbouring France arrives with her female attendants, their pledge is quickly placed under strain. Soon all are in smitten and confusion abounds, as each struggles to secretly declare his love in this comedy of deception, desire and mistaken identity.
Character: Berowne
Monologue:
And I, forsooth, in love!
I, that have been love's whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh,
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent.
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This signor-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,
Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general
Of trotting paritors -- O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field,
And wear his colors like a tumbler's hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife!
A woman that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes.
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed,
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan:
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan

 

UAL School Audition: The other speech should be from any play written later than 1830.
Name of the play: When it rains gasoline
Plot: When it Rains Gasoline is a dark piece about the reality of being a high school student in the world today.  There are some kids who don't fit in; some kids who have been abused so badly that rage seems to be their only way out.  Paul is one of these kids.
Character: Paul
Monologue:
I get along with pretty much all the kids.  I know there are a lot of girls that really like me, they're just shy.  I'm kinda' shy too.  I know what they're going through.  I don't expect them to jump out and tell me how they feel, especially with Chris and...  Well, you know.  This one group of girls...  Really popular girls, invited me to a party.  I got all dressed up.  I was the only boy there.  We played a game where they giggled and dared each other to kiss me.  None did...  I'm sure they were just shy.  I...  I can really get people to laugh when I do things sometimes.  I'm...  I'm not really sure what those things are.  I mean, I get up from eating lunch and a whole group of kids at the next table starts to laugh.  I've thought about becoming a comedian...  Especially since I'm so good at making people laugh.  Chris and Angus and...  I don't like making those guys laugh.  Not really.  Sometimes they're...  I...  It's not fun to make them laugh, they...  (A painful pregnant pause.) Sometimes I wish that their little hearts would just freeze.  I have fantasies about that.  Sometimes in my dreams I see people like Chris choking on something.  He's motioning for me to help him.  He wants me to give him the Hiemlick maneuver or something, but I just stand there.  I watch him fall to his knees holding his throat...  His face turning blue.  For some reason blood starts to come out of his nose and ears.  His eyes pop out and blood starts to come from there too.  The whole time I know I can save him, but I don't do anything.  I watch him die.  He's lying there not moving, not doing anything.  Suddenly his skin splits open.  I expect to see muscles and bones, but...  Instead, maggots and spiders and worms start to crawl out of his ravaged body.  Then I know what he was...  Nothing.  He wasn't worth anything to anyone but insects and maggots.  Sometimes I think about ending it.  It would be so easy to make a statement, to show the world that people like me aren't going to take it anymore.  Put a gun to his head...  Pull the trigger...  See if I'm right about his insides.

My LAMDA Audition

What LAMDA is looking for: Each piece should last no longer than three minutes and there must be a clear contrast between the two (This would be because they want to see my acting range and the levels of versatile you can bring to their school). After presenting your work to the panel, you will be interviewed briefly as part of the audition process (The interview can help the audition panel to get to know me as a person which would be useful for them as they will be able to judge if I am able to be a successful student). You should be prepared to discuss your reasons for wanting to take this course (This will also help the panel to better understand me as well as what I hope to get from the course I wish to take) and bring a portfolio showing examples of your work (This will help show my past experience as an actor as well as help them gravitate my past acting skills as well as my development since I started acting). We do not ask applicants for specific academic qualifications or grades (This shows they don’t want to judge me on your grade but on how well I can perform, the commitment I show and how much of a passion I show). Unsuccessful applicants may re-apply at any point during the same audition/interview period. There is no limit to the number of times an individual can apply to LAMDA (This also shows they believe in second chances as well wanting to see if I can grow as an actor after being turned down as well as how I improve myself).

LAMDA School Audition: one monologue from an Elizabethan or Jacobean play
Name of play: Love Labour’s lost
Plot: A King and his lords form an austere academy, swearing to have no contact with women for three years. But when the Princess of neighbouring France arrives with her female attendants, their pledge is quickly placed under strain. Soon all are in smitten and confusion abounds, as each struggles to secretly declare his love in this comedy of deception, desire and mistaken identity.
Character: Berowne
Monologue:
And I, forsooth, in love!
I, that have been love's whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh,
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent.
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This signor-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,
Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general
Of trotting paritors -- O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field,
And wear his colors like a tumbler's hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife!
A woman that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes.
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed,
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan:
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan
 
LAMDA School Audition: one monologue from a play written in either the 20th or 21st Century, but not a piece written by you or by an unknown or little-known author.
Name of play: Five finger exercise
Plot: The play focuses on the Harrington family, who are spending a holiday together in their cottage in Suffolk, England. There is a snobbish mother, Louise, who fancies herself a Parisian aristocrat; a working class father, Stanley, who has done quite well for himself and his family in the furniture business; a troubled and sensitive son, Clive, who is just entering college, drinks too much, and is trying to find himself; and a smart-mouthed, feisty, fourteen-year-old daughter, Pamela. The fifth character is a young German music tutor, Walter, employed by the Harrington’s to teach Pamela to play piano.
Character: Walter
Monologue:
Clive? What's the matter? Are you all right? Why are you sitting in the dark? I've been talking to your father. He thinks you hate him. Clive, listen to me. The Kings of Egypt were gods. Everything they did was right, everything they said was true, everyone they loved became important. And when they died, they grew faces of gold. You must try to forgive your parents for being average and wrong when you worshipped them once. Why are you so afraid? Is it - because you have no girlfriend? Oh, you are so silly. Silly. Do you think sex will change you? Put you into a different world, where everything will mean more to you? I thought so, too, once. I thought it would change me into a man so my father could never touch me again. I didn't know exactly what it would be like, but I thought it would burn me and bring me terrible pain. But afterwards, I'd be strong and very wise. There was a girl in Muhlbach. She worked in her mother's grocery shop. One night I had a few drinks and, just for a joke, I broke into her bedroom through the window. I stayed with her all night. And I entered heaven. I really did. Between her arms was the only place in the world that mattered. When daylight came, I felt I had changed for ever. A little later I got up. I looked round, but the room was exactly the same. This was incomprehensible. It should have been so huge now - filled with air. But it seemed very small and stuffy and outside it was raining. I suppose I had thought, 'Now it will never rain again,' because rain depresses me, and I was now a man and could not be depressed. I remember, I hated the soap for lying there in the dish just as it had done the night before. I watched her putting on her clothes. I thought: 'We're tied together now by an invisible thread.' And then she said: 'It's nine o'clock: I must be off' - and went downstairs to open the shop. Then I looked into the mirror: at least my eyes would be different. They were a little red, yes - but I was exactly the same - still a boy. Rain was still here. And all the problems of yesterday were still waiting. Sex by itself is nothing, believe me. Just like breathing - only important when it goes wrong. And Clive, this only happens if you're afraid of it. What are you thinking? (He pauses.) Please talk to me.

Choosing my 3 monologues

LAMDA                                       UAL

1 Classical                                     1 Classical

1 Contemporary                            1 Contemporary

 

MY STRENGHS

• Dark humor
• Panicky\doubtful Characters

MY WEAKNESSES

• Romantic characters
• Intense\serious characters

Monologue 1 (Elizabethan and Jacobean): I have to decide between my “Love Labour’s lost” monologue by Berowne and my “Richard III” monologue by Gloucester (Richard III).  I believe I will chose the monologue from “Love Labour’s lost” as this is a very silly and comedic monologue which is a play on my strengths in acting unlike the “Richard III” monologue which is very intense, being intense is considered to be one of my weaknesses so choosing the “Love Labours lost” monologue will help show off my acting range.

Monologue 2 (Contemporary): I need to decide my Contemporary monologue from the 5 monologues I have found which are Walter’s monologue from “Five Finger Exercise”, Dave’s from “It’s Ralph”, Richard’s from “DNA”, Paul’s monologue from “When it rains gasoline” or Phil from “Boy’s life”. I have decided that I will not choose Dave’s monologue from “it’s Ralph” as I do not suit the character personality or age as well as not having any familiarity of consequences going on with Ralph’s death.  I am also not considering performing Richard’s monologue from “DNA” as even though we are both in a similar age range to each other, our personalities do not match as Richard is a strong assertive type which doesn’t suit my personality. I am also not going to choose the monologue from “Boy’s life” by Phil as even though I suit the character type the monologue doesn’t play to my strengths as an actor because the monologue is considered to be a dark romantic piece as he’s trying to impress a girl just in the wrong way. I’m now left with 2 monologues to choose from for my main contemporary monologue, either Paul’s from “When it rains gasoline” or Walter’s for “Five Finger Exercise”.  I believe the monologue from “when it rains gasoline” is my strongest of the 2 as I suit the character as a teenage boy as well as the monologue plays to my strengths as it is a comedic monologue at the start but turn dark and twisted as it gets towards the end. My Contemporary monologue will be Paul’s from “When it rains gasoline.

Monologue 3 (Spare monologue): My spare monologue will be Walter’s from “Five Finger Exercise” as this monologue plays to my strengths as an actor of dark comedic scenes. Walter’s character doesn’t suit my age but we have contrasting personalities so I will be able to adapt myself to this monologues needs.

Audition monologues (Contemporary)

Name of play: Five finger exercise
Plot: The play focuses on the Harrington family, who are spending a holiday together in their cottage in Suffolk, England. There is a snobbish mother, Louise, who fancies herself a Parisian aristocrat; a working class father, Stanley, who has done quite well for himself and his family in the furniture business; a troubled and sensitive son, Clive, who is just entering college, drinks too much, and is trying to find himself; and a smart-mouthed, feisty, fourteen-year-old daughter, Pamela. The fifth character is a young German music tutor, Walter, employed by the Harrington’s to teach Pamela to play piano.
Character: Walter
Monologue:
Clive? What's the matter? Are you all right? Why are you sitting in the dark? I've been talking to your father. He thinks you hate him. Clive, listen to me. The Kings of Egypt were gods. Everything they did was right, everything they said was true, everyone they loved became important. And when they died, they grew faces of gold. You must try to forgive your parents for being average and wrong when you worshipped them once. Why are you so afraid? Is it - because you have no girlfriend? Oh, you are so silly. Silly. Do you think sex will change you? Put you into a different world, where everything will mean more to you? I thought so, too, once. I thought it would change me into a man so my father could never touch me again. I didn't know exactly what it would be like, but I thought it would burn me and bring me terrible pain. But afterwards, I'd be strong and very wise. There was a girl in Muhlbach. She worked in her mother's grocery shop. One night I had a few drinks and, just for a joke, I broke into her bedroom through the window. I stayed with her all night. And I entered heaven. I really did. Between her arms was the only place in the world that mattered. When daylight came, I felt I had changed for ever. A little later I got up. I looked round, but the room was exactly the same. This was incomprehensible. It should have been so huge now - filled with air. But it seemed very small and stuffy and outside it was raining. I suppose I had thought, 'Now it will never rain again,' because rain depresses me, and I was now a man and could not be depressed. I remember, I hated the soap for lying there in the dish just as it had done the night before. I watched her putting on her clothes. I thought: 'We're tied together now by an invisible thread.' And then she said: 'It's nine o'clock: I must be off' - and went downstairs to open the shop. Then I looked into the mirror: at least my eyes would be different. They were a little red, yes - but I was exactly the same - still a boy. Rain was still here. And all the problems of yesterday were still waiting. Sex by itself is nothing, believe me. Just like breathing - only important when it goes wrong. And Clive, this only happens if you're afraid of it. What are you thinking? (He pauses.) Please talk to me.

Name of play: It’s Ralph
Plot: Andrew and his wearily frustrated wife Clare are spending the weekend in their Gloucestershire cottage, which, like their marriage, is well in need of repair. Ralph, an old friend of Andrew's, visits and remembers their shared radical youth. Ralph brings Andrew face to face with his own spiritual bankruptcy and the latter finally unburdens himself to his visitor. Clare leaves, the house decays rapidly and Ralph helps Andrew to regain his integrity, but at a price as in the last few minutes of the show, Ralph is crushed by a falling celling.
Character: Dave
Monologue:
Poor old Ralph. I'd never seen anyone dead before. (Pause.) Actually, that's not true. There was someone. My Dad's auntie. She was funny in the head. She thought she could flap her arms up and down and fly like a bird. They had her put away. But then, when she got older, Dad thought she should come and live with us. We had a house in the country, in Essex. Dad thought she should end her days with the family and not in a loony bin. The house was very unusual. Tall and thin. And there was trees all round it. There was a gap in the trees, and through that gap you could see the Colchester to London railway line. My old aunt loved to watch the trains go by. They gave her a room on the top floor so she could see the trains clearly. They kept the window locked, just in case. One day she managed to prise the window open. She crawled onto the window-sill, flapped her arms up and down, and jumped. Poor old darling. Mum rushed out and found her. 'Don't look,' she said, but of course I did. Wasn't nasty or frightening. Just a funny bundle of clothes with legs and arms sticking out of it. Mum said it was a blessed release. She often said that about people dying. (Pause.) I suppose some people thought she killed herself because we kept her locked up and were cruel to her. Perhaps some people thought she was trying to escape and killed herself accidentally. Some people knew the truth, of course. And perhaps there was someone in a train going from Colchester to London. And perhaps he looked out of the window, and perhaps, through the gap in the trees, he saw an old lady in mid-air, flapping her arms up and down. Just for a split second, as the train rushed on, past our house. And he'd look through the window, that man, and he'd be amazed. He'd tell his friend, 'I saw an old lady flying', he'd say. So in a way, it actually happened. What she wanted. Perhaps she died happy. What do you think?

Name of play: DNA

Plot: DNA by Dennis Kelly follows the silent yet intimidating, 16 year old Phil, and his fearful following of misfits as they come to terms with the consequences of a practical joke that ends in tragedy. This piece deals directly and powerfully with hard hitting, relevant issues, such as violence, guilt, unrequited love, tyranny and solidarity within a group of adolescents who have placed themselves at the edge of society.
Character: Richard
Monologue:
Phil, Phil, watch this! Phil, watch me, watch me, Phil!
See? See what I’m doing? Can you see Phil?
When are you going to come back?
Come on, Phil. Come back to us. What do you want to sit up here for? In this field? Don’t you get bored? Don’t you get bored sitting here, everyday, doing nothing?

Everyone’s asking after you. You know that? Everyone’s saying ‘where’s Phil?’ ‘what’s Phil up to?’ ‘when’s Phil going to come down from that stupid field?’ ‘wasn’t it good when Phil was running the show?’ What do you think about? What do you think about everyone asking after you?

Aren’t you interested? Aren’t you interested in what’s going on?
John Tate’s found god. Yeah, yeah I know. He’s joined the Jesus Army, he runs round the shopping centre singing and trying to give people leaflets. Danny’s doing work experience at a dentist’s. He hates it. Can’t stand the cavities, he says when they open their mouths sometimes it feels like you’re going to fall in.
Brian’s on stronger and stronger medication. They caught him staring at a wall and drooling last week. It’s either drooling or giggling. Keeps talking about earth. I think they're going to section him. Cathy doesn't care. She's too busy running the things. You wouldn't believe how things have got, Phil. She's insane. She cut a first year's finger off, that's what they say anyway. Doesn't that bother you? Aren't you even bothered?
Lou's her best friend, now. Dangerous game. I feel sorry for Lou. And Jan and Mark have taken up shoplifting, they're really good at it, get you anything you want. Phil? Phil!
You can't stay here forever. When are you going to come down?

Nice up here.

As I was coming up here there was this big wind of fluff. You know, this big wind of fluff, like dandelions, but smaller, and tons of them, like fluffs of wool or cotton, it was really weird, I mean it just came out of nowhere, this big wind of fluff, and for a minute I thought I was in a cloud, Phil. Imagine that. Imagine being inside a cloud, but with space inside it as well, for a second, as I was coming up here I felt like I was an alien in a cloud. But really felt it. And in that second, Phil, I knew that there was life on other planets. I knew we weren't alone in the universe, I didn't just think it or feel it, I know it, it was as if the universe was suddenly shifting and giving me a glimpse, this vision that could see everything, just for a fraction of a heartbeat of a second. But I couldn't see who they were or what they were doing or how they were living.

How do you think they're living, Phil?
How do you think they're living?
There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on Brighton beach.
Come back, Phil.
Phil?"

Name of the play: When it rains gasoline
Plot: When it Rains Gasoline is a dark piece about the reality of being a high school student in the world today.  There are some kids who don't fit in; some kids who have been abused so badly that rage seems to be their only way out.  Paul is one of these kids.
Character: Paul
Monologue:
I get along with pretty much all the kids.  I know there are a lot of girls that really like me, they're just shy.  I'm kinda' shy too.  I know what they're going through.  I don't expect them to jump out and tell me how they feel, especially with Chris and...  Well, you know.  This one group of girls...  Really popular girls, invited me to a party.  I got all dressed up.  I was the only boy there.  We played a game where they giggled and dared each other to kiss me.  None did...  I'm sure they were just shy.  I...  I can really get people to laugh when I do things sometimes.  I'm...  I'm not really sure what those things are.  I mean, I get up from eating lunch and a whole group of kids at the next table starts to laugh.  I've thought about becoming a comedian...  Especially since I'm so good at making people laugh.  Chris and Angus and...  I don't like making those guys laugh.  Not really.  Sometimes they're...  I...  It's not fun to make them laugh, they...  (A painful pregnant pause.) Sometimes I wish that their little hearts would just freeze.  I have fantasies about that.  Sometimes in my dreams I see people like Chris choking on something.  He's motioning for me to help him.  He wants me to give him the Hiemlick maneuver or something, but I just stand there.  I watch him fall to his knees holding his throat...  His face turning blue.  For some reason blood starts to come out of his nose and ears.  His eyes pop out and blood starts to come from there too.  The whole time I know I can save him, but I don't do anything.  I watch him die.  He's lying there not moving, not doing anything.  Suddenly his skin splits open.  I expect to see muscles and bones, but...  Instead, maggots and spiders and worms start to crawl out of his ravaged body.  Then I know what he was...  Nothing.  He wasn't worth anything to anyone but insects and maggots.  Sometimes I think about ending it.  It would be so easy to make a statement, to show the world that people like me aren't going to take it anymore.  Put a gun to his head...  Pull the trigger...  See if I'm right about his insides.

Name of Play: Boy’s life

Plot:
Character: Phil
Monologue:
I would have destroyed myself for this woman. Gladly. I would have eaten garbage. I would have sliced my wrists open. Under the right circumstances, I mean, if she said, "Hey, Phil, why don't you just cut your wrists open?" Well, come on, but if seriously... We clicked, we connected on so many things, right off the bat, we talked about God for three hours once. I don't know what good it did, but that intensity... and the first time we went to bed, I didn't even touch her. I didn't want to, understand what I'm saying? And you know, I played it very casually, because, all right, I've had some rough experiences, I'm the first to admit, but after a couple weeks I could feel we were right there, so I laid it down, everything I wanted to tell her, and... and she says to me, she says... "Nobody should ever need another person that badly." Do you believe that? "Nobody should ever...!" What is that? Is that something you saw on TV? I put my heart on the table; you give me Dr. Joyce Brothers? "Need, need," I'm saying I love you, is that so wrong? Is that not allowed anymore? (Pause.) And so what if I did need her? Is that so bad? All right, crucify me, I needed her! So what! I don't want to be by myself, I'm by myself I feel like I'm going out of my mind, I do. I sit there, I'm thinking forget it, I'm not gonna make it through the next ten seconds. I just can't stand it. But I do, somehow, I get through the ten seconds, but then I have to do it all over again, cause they just keep coming, all these... Seconds, floating by, while I'm waiting for something to happen, I don't know what, a car wreck, a nuclear war or something, that sounds awful but at least there'd be this instant when I'd know I was alive. Just once. Cause I look in the mirror, and I can't believe I'm really there. I can't believe that's me. It's like, my body, right, is the size of, what, the Statue of Liberty, and I'm inside it, I'm down in one of the legs, the gigantic hairy leg, I'm scraping around inside my own foot like some tiny fetus. And I don't know who I am or where I'm going. And I wish I'd never been born. (Pause.) Not only that, my hair is falling out, and that really sucks.
 
  

Audition monologues (Classical)

Name of play: Richard III
Plot:
Character: Gloucester
Monologue:
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'G'
Of Edward's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Clarence comes.

Name of play: Love Labour’s lost

Plot: A King and his lords form an austere academy, swearing to have no contact with women for three years. But when the Princess of neighbouring France arrives with her female attendants, their pledge is quickly placed under strain. Soon all are in smitten and confusion abounds, as each struggles to secretly declare his love in this comedy of deception, desire and mistaken identity.
Character: Berowne
Monologue:
And I, forsooth, in love!
I, that have been love's whip,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh,
A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,
A domineering pedant o'er the boy,
Than whom no mortal so magnificent.
This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,
This signor-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,
Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms,
The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Sole imperator and great general
Of trotting paritors -- O my little heart!
And I to be a corporal of his field,
And wear his colors like a tumbler's hoop!
What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife!
A woman that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being watched that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes.
Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed,
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.
And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,
To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan:
Some men must love my lady, and some Joan